By Adam Son
Understanding Pain, Building Confidence, and Getting Back to Living Your Life
If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve probably experienced pain that made you stop and wonder:
“Did I just seriously hurt myself?”
Maybe it was your back while picking up a laundry basket. Maybe it was your knee after a round of golf. Maybe your shoulder started bothering you for seemingly no reason at all.
For many people, pain immediately creates fear.
“If it hurts, something must be broken.”
Sometimes that’s true.
Broken bones hurt. Torn ligaments hurt. Significant injuries absolutely exist, and pain can be an important warning sign that something needs immediate medical attention.
But here’s what we’ve learned over the last several decades of pain research:
Pain doesn’t always mean you’re broken.
And understanding that simple concept can completely change the way you approach recovery, movement, and your long-term health.
Pain Is a Signal, Not a Diagnosis
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"Pain doesn't mean you're broken.
It means your body is asking
for your attention."
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One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding pain is that it always reflects damage.
It’s easy to think:
“My knee hurts, so there must be something wrong with my knee.”
Sometimes there is.
Other times, the picture is much more complicated.
Pain is your body’s alarm system. Its job is to bring awareness to a potential threat.
Think of it like the smoke detector in your house.
Sometimes the alarm goes off because the house is on fire.
Sometimes it goes off because you burned toast.
Either way, the alarm deserves your attention, but the alarm itself doesn’t tell you exactly what’s happening.
Pain works much the same way.
It’s asking you to pay attention.
It’s not automatically telling you that you’re damaged.
Pain Is More Than Just Physical
One of the most fascinating things we’ve learned is that pain isn’t created solely by injured tissues.
In fact, many people walk around every day with:
- bulging discs
- arthritis
- meniscus tears
- rotator cuff tears
- spinal degeneration
…and have absolutely no pain whatsoever.
At the same time, some people experience significant pain without major structural damage.
If pain were only physical, we’d never be able to explain something like phantom limb pain, where someone who has lost an arm or leg still experiences pain in the missing limb.
Pain is much more complex than that.
It’s influenced by the body, the brain, the nervous system, stress, sleep, emotions, previous experiences, beliefs, expectations, and countless other factors.
That’s why pain is often described as biopsychosocial.
It’s complicated because people are complicated.
Fear Can Become Part of the Problem
One of the hardest parts about pain isn’t always the pain itself.
It’s what happens afterward.
We stop trusting our body.
We stop exercising.
We stop golfing.
We stop hiking.
We stop picking up our grandkids.
We avoid stairs.
We tell ourselves we’re getting old.
We become afraid that one wrong movement will make everything worse.
Little by little, our world gets smaller.
Ironically, that avoidance often contributes to the very thing we’re trying to prevent.
The body is incredibly adaptable.
When we stop asking it to move, lift, bend, squat, reach, or carry, it slowly loses the ability to do those things comfortably.
Less movement often leads to less capacity.
Less capacity often leads to more pain.
And the cycle continues.
Our Goal Isn’t to Avoid Movement
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the last 13 years working with clients is this:
Pain usually isn’t something to ignore.
But it also isn’t always something to fear.
Our goal is never to simply “push through the pain.”
It’s also not to avoid movement forever.
Instead, we try to understand what’s happening.
What movements increase symptoms?
What movements feel okay?
What can we safely build from?
Once we answer those questions, we begin strengthening the body instead of protecting it from life.
Because our goal isn’t simply getting someone out of pain.
Our goal is helping them get back to living.
Load vs. Capacity
One of the concepts I come back to over and over again is load versus capacity.
Load is any stress placed on the body.
That could be:
- walking
- lifting groceries
- climbing stairs
- carrying your child
- swinging a golf club
- squatting
- running
Capacity is your body’s current ability to tolerate that stress.
Pain often develops when the load exceeds your current capacity.
That doesn’t necessarily mean the activity is bad.
It usually means your body isn’t prepared for that amount of stress…yet.
The solution isn’t always removing the load forever.
More often, it’s gradually increasing your capacity until your body can tolerate it comfortably again.
That’s where progressive exercise becomes so powerful.
Our General Guidelines for Training Around Pain
Every person is different, but these are some of the guidelines we commonly use when helping clients work through pain or return from injury.
1. Keep Pain Manageable
During exercise, we generally want pain to stay at or below about a 4 or 5 out of 10.
Some discomfort can be completely normal.
Overwhelming pain is not.
2. Pain Should Settle Back Down
If an exercise temporarily increases symptoms, we generally want pain to return close to its normal baseline within 30–60 seconds after stopping that movement.
If symptoms continue escalating, that’s useful feedback that we may need to modify the exercise.
3. The Next Day Matters More Than the Workout
It’s perfectly normal to feel a little sore, stiff, or achy after exercising, especially when rebuilding strength.
But we generally want symptoms to settle back to baseline within about 24–48 hours.
If you’re significantly worse several days later, we’ve probably asked too much from your body.
The answer usually isn’t stopping.
It’s adjusting.
What About Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation?
For years, many of us were taught RICE:
- Rest
- Ice
- Compression
- Elevation
Those tools still absolutely have their place, especially after significant traumatic injuries.
But our understanding of recovery has evolved.
Complete rest is rarely the long-term answer for most aches, pains, and overuse injuries.
Movement increases circulation.
Movement helps maintain strength.
Movement helps the nervous system regain confidence.
Movement builds capacity.
The goal isn’t reckless exercise.
The goal is finding the right amount of movement for where you are today and gradually progressing from there.
Hope Matters
One of the biggest things I try to give clients isn’t just a stronger body.
It’s hope.
Because pain has a way of convincing people that life is only going downhill from here.
I’ve watched people stop doing the things they love because they assumed pain meant the end.
The end of golfing.
The end of hiking.
The end of lifting weights.
The end of traveling.
The end of feeling like themselves.
More often than not, that doesn’t have to be the case.
With the right guidance, appropriate exercise, patience, and consistency, many people are capable of far more than they initially believe.
Final Thoughts
Pain can be frustrating.
It can be scary.
It can make you question your body and your future.
But pain does not automatically mean you’re broken.
More often than many people realize, it’s your body’s way of asking for attention, not surrender.
The goal isn’t to ignore pain.
The goal isn’t to fear it either.
The goal is to understand it.
To respect it.
To work with it.
And then, little by little, build the strength, confidence, and resilience to get back to living life on your terms.
Because pain doesn’t mean you’re broken.
And with the right approach, it certainly doesn’t have to define the rest of your life.
Interested in Learning More?
Are you dealing with pain that’s kept you from exercising, golfing, traveling, or simply enjoying everyday life?
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
At CoachMeFit, our goal isn’t just to help people exercise, we help people build confidence in their bodies again. Whether you’re recovering from an injury, managing chronic pain, or simply unsure where to begin, we’ll meet you where you are and create a plan that helps you move safely, build strength, and get back to the life you want to live.
If you’d like to learn more about our in-person or online coaching options, visit coachmefit.com and schedule your free consultation. We’d love to help you take the first step.
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